Saturday, December 23, 2006

Absolute Honesty

‘I am blunt and straightforward ’. ‘I call spade for spade’.
We often hear such statements uttered by some with affront and arrogance. It’s a loud proclamation of the truth they espouse in dealing with people. But do such people endear others? Don’t they cause hurt and anguish to the others? On the other side, there are people who are cautious about their verbal expression as if they are handling expensive cut glasses. They hardly take a firm stance on any subject or rather have an opinion before they ascertain the viewpoint of the opposite person and are often in unison with the opposite person. People with such attributes endear people who surround them. But Are they honest?

This is one aspect of life that I have always battled with.

What is righteous and appropriate? To be honest or To be endearing to others?
Should one accept the fact that one is bound to hurt someone sometime?
Can I take clear stance and behave with conviction with utter disregard to people how they say and feel’. ? Would this lead to my life being more intact?

Few years ago, I was introduced to the term ‘absolute honesty’. I didn’t understand much then but was always intrigued with this term as I battled to balance myself between honesty and diplomacy. But in recent days, I am slowly understanding this wonderful term ‘Absolute Honesty’ and how it offers deeper nuances to the life.

Absolute honesty is not what I do with others but with my own's thoughts, actions and behavior.
Authenticity is "The highest courage is to dare to appear to be what one is.":
-John Lancaster Spalding

Lissa says: The key word here is "appear." So many times it's just easier to put on a mask, to play a role, to go along with what is expected of us. But the courage is in being authentic, in being true to ourselves and our convictions. Being true to ourselves is one thing - but showing the world who we are is another. Do we dare risk Judgment? When we are authentic we answer to ourselves, we know that to appear to be anything other, anything less than "what one is" is heart-breaking.

www.recoverynation.com says An Absolute honesty is an art to recognize and realize when you are intentionally misrepresenting yourself (or are about to), and that this recognition triggers a personal exploration of why deception is being relied upon to manage a particular event. This then triggers a values-based exploration as to whether or not it is appropriate to use deception in this instance and healthy decisions/actions are made accordingly. The practice of absolute honesty is the first wave of protection against relapse.

I have realized that practicing absolute honesty is not ‘reveal all ‘ approach in communication with others, it is being aware and alert to recognize the exact vulnerability of oneself when we portray is different to our instincts of conviction. It’s like – automatic pinching – of one’s brain when spoken words or expressed behavior or gesture is contrary to ones beliefs. That is absolute honesty.

I have understood that if I have urge to cheat, lie or do anything illegal, immoral; practicing absolute honesty would allow me to accept the vulnerability of being foible mind and admit compulsions and limitations and then help me set appropriate benchmarks for further actions. Becoming aware of the root cause is practicing absolute honesty. Trusting me without inhibition owns the responsibility for my actions without any shame, condemnation or self eulogy.

I have experienced the closer I am towards the absolute honesty; nearer I am towards serene enriched life. Deviation from the deception, deceit of mind-path transforms me being accepted by others as trustworthy, reliable, dependable and all of the other values that are associated with a good human being. Absolute Honesty made me arrive at a perfect equilibrium between authenticity and diplomacy.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said ‘It is as impossible for a man to be cheated by any one but himself, as for a thing to be and not to be at the same time

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